The Fourth Trimester

Finding Your Way Home to Yourself

By Dr. Jamie Milchanowski

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I spent a lot of time preparing for motherhood. I talked with close friends who had recently become moms. I learned everything I could about birth, breastfeeding, and caring for a newborn. As a chiropractor who worked with moms and babies, I felt like I had a good understanding of what life might look like after birth. But there is a difference between preparing for motherhood and living it.

No amount of advice can fully prepare you for the first time your baby looks at you, the way your heart expands when you become a mother, or the exhaustion that comes with weeks of broken sleep and constantly giving of yourself. Motherhood is one of those things that can only truly be understood by experiencing it. And while becoming a mother felt incredibly natural in many ways, it also stretched me in ways I never expected.

My Two Postpartum Experiences

When I became a mom for the first time, I quickly realized that birth was just the beginning. The real transformation happened in the days, weeks, and months that followed.

Like so many new moms, I experienced the learning curve of breastfeeding, the weight of sleep deprivation, and the challenge of figuring out how to care for a baby while also learning how to care for myself. While I had wonderful support from my husband, family, and friends, there were many moments where I felt isolated. My family lived farther away, my husband worked long firefighter shifts, and I was navigating the constant needs of a newborn while trying to recover physically and emotionally.

I was exclusively breastfeeding, working through milk supply challenges, and spending many nights waking every one to two hours. Looking back, I realize just how much my body and nervous system were carrying during that season.

My first postpartum taught me how much support mothers truly need. My second postpartum taught me something different. My life was not easier. I now had a newborn, a toddler, and a husband who was still working long shifts. But I was different.

I knew myself better. I knew when to ask for help. I knew what support I needed. I rested more. I nourished my body with warm, nutrient dense foods. I continued prioritizing chiropractic care. Most importantly, I trusted myself more. Not because I had all the answers, but because I learned to listen to my own intuition instead of every voice around me.

Trust your mom gut.

That has become one of the greatest lessons motherhood has taught me. I believe our bodies were beautifully designed for pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. That does not mean it is easy. Some of the most meaningful things in life require us to grow and adapt. But there is comfort in knowing your body was created with incredible wisdom.

Looking back, the greatest gift I gave my children was not doing everything perfectly. It was learning that caring for myself was one of the best ways I could care for them.

We Prepare for Birth. But Who Prepares Us for Postpartum?

We spend months preparing to meet our babies. We take childbirth classes, create birth plans, prepare our homes, install car seats, and gather everything we think our baby will need. But postpartum is an entire season of its own. The fourth trimester is beautiful, exhausting, joyful, overwhelming, and deeply transformative all at the same time.

Your experience will be completely unique to you, but every mother knows what it feels like to wonder if she is doing enough, to question herself, and to hope the hard days get easier. And they do. Motherhood is not about getting everything right. It is about learning, adapting, and growing alongside your child.

One of the most important things I want moms to know is this: You are not alone. Every mother has walked through seasons of uncertainty, exhaustion, and growth. Your journey is uniquely yours, but the feelings you experience are shared by mothers everywhere.

Becoming a Mom Changed the Way I Understood the Nervous System

Before becoming a mom, I understood the nervous system from a chiropractor’s perspective. I knew how stress impacts the body. I understood the importance of regulation, adaptation, and healing. Then I became a mother. Suddenly, I was not just teaching these concepts. I was living them.

I experienced interrupted sleep, hormonal shifts, physical recovery, and the emotional changes that come with postpartum. I realized that postpartum is not just a physical recovery period. It is one of the greatest nervous system adaptations we experience.

Our bodies heal best when the nervous system feels safe and supported. That does not mean life has to be perfect. Motherhood will always have stress. But when we support the nervous system, we create more space for the body to adapt, recover, and heal.

One of my favorite reminders is that your baby does not yet know they are separate from you. They borrow your sense of safety and experience the world through connection with you. This is not about being a perfect mom. Babies do not need perfect mothers. They need connected mothers. When a mother feels more connected to herself, she naturally has more capacity to connect with her baby.

Your Body Isn't Going Back. It's Adapting

One of the biggest misconceptions about postpartum recovery is that your body should simply “go back” after birth. But your body is not meant to go back. It is meant to move forward. Your body has done something extraordinary.

For nine months, your spine, pelvis, muscles, connective tissues, hormones, and nervous system adapted to support the growth and birth of your baby. Then postpartum begins another season of adaptation. Your body is healing. Your hormones are shifting. Your tissues are recovering. Your nervous system is adjusting to a completely new rhythm of life.

In my work with postpartum moms, I see this season as an important time to support your body not because it is broken, but because it is already doing so much. Through gentle, neurologically focused chiropractic care, I support the body’s ability to adapt by focusing on healthy movement throughout the spine and pelvis and supporting communication between the brain and body.

The goal is not to force your body to heal. The goal is to support your body so it can continue doing what it already knows how to do. Whether you are one week postpartum, six months postpartum, or years into motherhood, you are welcome here. You do not have to navigate this season alone. 

My mission is to help moms reconnect with their bodies as they grow into motherhood because caring for yourself is not separate from caring for your baby. It is part of it.